


How Do I Love Thee

by killmeKindly



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drabble, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One Shot, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killmeKindly/pseuds/killmeKindly
Summary: Chanyeol doesn't know the exact moment he fell in love with Kyungsoo, but he's starting to believe he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.





	How Do I Love Thee

**Author's Note:**

> hi please enjoy this lil chansoo drabble. I didn't have a lot of time to write it and im sure its a little messy but i hope you like it anyways! im hoping to write more chansoo once im done my other wips!:)

Chanyeol didn’t know when he fell in love with Kyungsoo.

It was, perhaps the first time he saw him on a chilly September morning at the start of the fall semester.

Kyungsoo had entered the classroom a few minutes before the lecture had begun.  
The short boy had paused at the front of the room, eyes scanning over the auditorium for a friendly and familiar face. His hands fisted around the strap of his backpack as he squinted once more before settling on a seat a few rows in front of Chanyeol, alone.

Despite the anxious, nervous energy that seemed to waft off of him, he seemed fine, albeit a little clumsy. He dropped his pen on the ground and a glasses case fell out of his bag as he retrieved his notebook from his bag.

It was charming in its own unique little way. Cute even.

Chanyeol didn’t really devote much of his attention to the boy throughout the lecture. Rather, Chanyeol was busy scrolling through his instagram feed and sending Baekhyun memes to pass the time.

Chanyeol did, in fact, notice the way the boy’s small shoulders shook with a silent laugh when Baekyun was called out to answer a question and guessed incorrectly. The professor then heeded a warning about the merits of being attentive in class- an action that was met with a serious of annoyed groans and sighs from the students.

The professor had ended up dismissing the lecture early due to the lack of effort put forth by the class. Something for which Chanyeol had been entirely too thankful for.

“Sehun and I are going to go get a coffee if you want to join us?” Baekhyun had offered as he began packing up his belongings and standing from his seat.  
Chanyeol shook his head. “Nah, I’ve got to talk to the registar about fixing my schedule. I’ll meet up with you later though.”

“Suit yourself. Best of luck.” Baekhyun shrugged as he sauntered out of the auditorium.

And Chanyeol was suddenly very aware of how alone he was- surrounded by a hundred other students who all seemed to have a group of friends or someone to talk to. And he knew that he shouldn’t have cared. That it didn’t really matter that Chanyeol was alone at the moment. Plenty of people in university spent time alone. It was impossible to be with your friends all of the time. But Chanyeol didn’t like being alone. He just simply wasn’t good at this.

Sighing, he began gathering up his things when he spotted a small container under one of the seats in front of him. He looked around the now almost vacant room for a few moments before he finally spotted a round, dark head weaving through the crowd towards the exit.

“I think you dropped this!” Chanyeol exclaimed as he chased after the smaller boy, a small glasses’ case in one hand.

“Oh, thanks.” The boy stammered out with a grateful smile, turning around at the commotion. His cheeks were round, eyes forming small crescents.

“No problem.” Chanyeol said as he opened the door for the student. “So what do you think of Professor Layton’s class so far?”

The boy shrugged, lips skewed to the side to suggest he was thinking. “I guess it’s okay… but I think he needs to spend a little less time on personal anecdotes and more time on actual lecture material.”

“Oh god, I know. I stopped paying attention like three weeks ago!”

He smiled. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be taking notes on anymore!”

“I’m Chanyeol.” He said.

“Kyungsoo”

Their friendship was formed the same way so many are in university- bonding over terrible classes and confounding professors.

 

* * *

 

 

Chanyeol thinks that maybe, if it hadn’t been at first sight, it might have been on a rainy Tuesday afternoon in April. They had been dating for almost six months after Chanyeol had awkwardly asked Kyungsoo out. He had meant for it to be casual, cool, nonchalant. He would just ask and Kyungsoo would agree and that would be that. But he had ended up stumbling over his words and almost had a panic attack trying to get the words out.

Kyungsoo had thought it was rather cute but Chanyeol thought he was going to die.  
He didn’t though and he thanks the stars every day. Because he has ten thousand more reasons to live now that he knows how wonderful it is to hold Kyungsoo’s hand and have the younger curl up beside him on the couch while watching a movie. A hundred thousand more reasons to smile because he can kiss Kyungsoo every day.

Chanyeol thinks he might have fallen in love with Kyungsoo with the rain beating against the window beside them. The air was thick with anxiety and the weight of encroaching exams. The scent of coffee made Chanyeol’s stomach churn, a reminder that he hadn’t eaten yet and had consumed far too much caffeine.

Kyungsoo looked over at him from across the table, completely unbothered. He was better at those sort of things, Chanyeol had learnt. The burden and stress of school didn’t seem to trouble him the same way it bothered Chanyeol.

Chanyeol who would cry due to his frustrations, get angry over assignments and stay up all night trying to cram for a midterm only to sleep through the test. It was a terrible cycle that Chanyeol was determined to break but never could seem to. Time management had never been one of his strengths despite all of his hard work.

But there was Kyungsoo sitting with his Americano and day planner open beside him, play practices and club meetings highlighted. Study sessions and classes underlined in colourful ink.

“You forgot to calculate for real GDP.” Kyungsoo stated as he looked over Chanyeol’s econ equations for a class that Kyungsoo had taken last semester. “But you’re getting better. You just need to remember your formulas.”

Chanyeol groaned. His headache was returning. He had been going over the questions in the textbooks for hours and nothing was making sense. He had watched YouTube videos and read his notes and lecture slides. Googled tips and tricks to make econ a little easier and he was no better for it.

“C’mon,” Kyungsoo smiled. A little dimple pulled at the corner of his lips as he tilted his head to the side. “You’ve got this. Just try another one and then we can take a break, alright?”

Chanyeol nodded. He wasn’t one to get embarrassed easily, but he was. He only seemed to get embarrassed in front of Kyungsoo. “One more.” He promised, but he didn’t sound hopeful.

He got back to work, but did so slowly. Stopping frequently to consult the textbook or sneak a glance at Kyungsoo who was busy going over his hand-written notes with a pink highlighter. Every so often he would stop to squint at the page and chew on the cap of his marker, but otherwise seemed unfazed by his workload.

Chanyeol didn’t know how he did it. Watching Kyungsoo study was an exhausting affair.

“You’re staring at me again.” Kyungsoo said. He didn’t spare a glance at Chanyeol, but rather proceeded to underline a passage in his notes.

“How do you know? You’re not even looking.” Chanyeol smirked, pretending to focus on his studies.

“I know everything.” Kyungsoo said, looking up and smiling at Chanyeol. He loved Kyungsoo’s little smile. It was a little dopey, a little smug. But he loved seeing his boyfriend so happy.

“Oh yeah? Then what’s the answer to this question then?”

Kyungsoo pushed back his chair and walked over to Chanyeol’s side of the table, peering over his shoulder to read the textbook and notes. “It’s seven. You forgot to calculate the real GDP. That’s why it didn’t make sense. You were using their nominal GDP.” He snickered before placing a small kiss on Chanyeol’s cheek.

“You’re such a smartass.” Chanyeol huffed as he slammed his textbook closed.

“Not an ass. Just smart.” He smiled back, too coy.

And Chanyeol laughed. Because not enough people knew that Kyungsoo could be funny. That he could be coy or smug. Most people didn’t take their time to look past his abrupt and anxious demeanor that was too often misinterpreted as grumpy or annoyed.

“You’re staring again.” Kyungsoo observed as he began closing his laptop and packing up his belongings. He paused for a moment, nibbling on his bottom lip. “Do you want to grab dinner? I think we could both use a break.”

“I’m not really hungry.” Chanyeol sighed, fiddling with his pencil. “Go without me.”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to eat alone.” His face then softened into something far kinder and more reassuring. “Don’t beat yourself up over a couple of econ questions. You’ll get it eventually- you always do. You work hard at everything and it eventually clicks. This will to.”

“I know… it’s just….”

“I know. But you’ll tough it out. But getting frustrated or trying to push through it isn’t going to help right now. We can grab dinner. Head back to my dorm and see if I had my midterms and assignments from last semester and I can see if I can help you some more, alright?”

And that was it. That was exactly what Chanyeol needed. Someone to be patient with him because so many people couldn’t be or refused to be. Because there always seemed to be two typed of people in the world: those who were naturally adept to deal with Chanyeol and those who weren’t. Those who could handle Chanyeol’s mood swings and high energy behaviour and those who couldn’t.

But there were very few people who tried and adapted and sought to understand.  
And Kyungsoo was the first to ever speak to Chanyeol like an equal, rather than a hyperactive child. More than a friend always in high spirits. With Kyungsoo he could finally breathe.

And that’s all Chanyeol wanted: to breathe.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been a dumb accident. Entirely his fault. But so incredibly dumb.  
He had biking from class to his first shift at his new job when he crashed his bike into a car on the side of the road. The car hadn’t been moving. It had been stagnant. Parked. It shouldn’t have even been a hazard.

But Chanyeol had taken his eyes off the road for all of three seconds to change songs on his phone when he had hit the car. He had flipped over his handlebars and onto the sidewalk, landing on just the right angle to fracture his arm in three places and get a concussion.

Someone on the sidewalk had ran over to make sure he was okay and helped him call Baekhyun to take him to the emergency room at the local general hospital.  
Bakehyun had to leave after an hour of waiting to see a doctor because he had to write a midterm, leaving Chanyeol quite alone and in pain. And also terrified.

Chanyeol didn’t like hospitals. He had seen too many episodes of House, ER and Grey’s Anatomy as a young child to feel safe in a hospital. Rationally, he understood that they were all works of fiction, but children are young and impressionable and certain impressions carry on into adulthood.  
So Chanyeol was terrified. The sort of scarred you try to push down deep inside of you because you know it’s not right. The sort of panic you try to rationalize but can’t quite manage.

“You look like shit.”

“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol asked, mystified at the presence of his boyfriend. He looked washed out and far too pale under the harsh fluorescent lights. Dark shadows were cut across his kind face. The strnage feeling that washed over him whenever Kyungsoo was near took its hold of him. It was a peculiar sort of excitement. A jittery, nervous energy that was always soon replaced by a sense of content and calm- belonging.

It was as though Chanyeol was finally starting to realize his place in the world.

“Bakehyun called me. He said you were in the ER… what happened?” He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. His eyes were wide with concern, eyebrows upturned.

“I just crashed my bike. I’ll be fine. I’m just waiting on X-rays.”

Kyungsoo smiled. “You’re an idiot.”

“You didn’t have to come here. I thought you had dress rehearsals?” Chanyeol said. The upcoming musical was all Kyungsoo had been able to talk about for weeks on end.

“I do. But they can manage without me. I know how much you hate hospitals. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Chanyeol smiled. Whatever tension he had once carried in his shoulders seemed to lessen. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re blushing.”

Chanyeol covered his face with his good arm. “Why do you always point that out? Is it really necessary?”

Kyungsoo laughed. “Fine… alright. Just… how did you crash your bike?”

Chanyeol could feel his face grow warmer, tips of his ears burning. “A motorcycle cut me off and forced me into another lane. It was chaos. I barely made it out alive.”

Kyungsoo looked at him deadpan, a single eyebrow raised in disbelief. “Baekhyun told me you hit a parked car.”

“Why are you trusting what Bakehyun says? Why are you bullying me?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, eyes wide. “Why do you think I’m bullying you? When have I ever bullied you?”

And they began to bicker in the middle of the ER. Under the harsh fluorescent lights and the cries and wails of people in pain. Alongside the rowdy and disruptive patients complaining about wait times, they began to laugh and laugh until a nurse told them they needed to be quiet.

But Kyungsoo stayed by Chanyeol’s side while he got his X-Rays done and while they put a cast on his arm. And Kyungsoo nodded attentively while speaking to the doctor, taking notes on all of the care that Chanyeol would be needing for the next couple weeks.

And Chanyeol, half high on incredible doses of pain medication could only follow along as Kyungsoo drove him home and tucked him into bed, kissing his cheek gently as he loaded up Chanyeol’s favourite movie.

Chanyeol fell asleep that night on an old sofa surrounded by takeout containers and used chopsticks and Kyungsoo curled into his side. He was lulled into a blissful rest by the beat of Kyungsoo’s heart, the pair of them curled on the couch. It was a soft little thump in Kyungsoo’s chest, steady rhythm shared by the two of them.  
Two hearts beating in time in the night.

And amongst it all this was enough. All the poetry and art and music in the world could never quite capture the frightening, exhilarating and suddenly calming feeling that consumed Chanyeol’s chest whenever he looked at Kyungsoo.

There was no one else and there would be no one else.

 

* * *

 

 

Chanyeol definitely knew he was in love with Kyungsoo at his best friend’s wedding. He sat at in the aisles next to Kyungsoo, hand in hand, both a little tired and a little bored as the ceremony dragged on and on. But Kyungsoo smiled the entire time, eyes wide with adoration as he listened to Sehun and Baekhyun say their vows in front of all of their friends and family.

And Chanyeol turned away from the two grooms and stared at Kyungsoo in his suit- a little too long in the sleeves, a little too big in the shoulders- and it was all too easy to imagine Kyungsoo as his groom. The hours and days spent debating the flower arrangements and dinner menu. Trying to bargain with caterers and the venue. Chanyeol wanted all of it.

They would probably get married at the local botanical gardens because Kyungsoo’s mother was always favourable to the outdoors. They would hold the reception inside, have a live local band play instead of a DJ. Kyungsoo’s mother would insist on having a proper formal wedding cake even though Kyungsoo and Chanyeol both preferred cupcakes.  
Chanyeol’s sister would fly down for the wedding and her son would probably be the ring bearer if he was still young enough when they got married…

Chanyeol shook the thought away. They were both still so young. Kyungsoo and him were both finishing their last semester of University- both taking a fifth year so they wouldn’t get too over whelmed between work and their respective studies.

But Kyungsoo would graduate in a month with a degree in biology and a minor in environmental science. Their now shared apartment was overwhelmed with house plants and a succulent collection that had overtaken the bathroom and was filtering into the kitchen. It was starting to become a bit of a tripping hazard, if Chanyeol was to be honest.

But Kyungsoo would be starting his masters in September in something that Chanyeol had tried to understand a handful of times but he didn’t really have the base knowledge to comprehend in full. But he loved listening to the soft trill of Kyungsoo’s voice when he spoke about forestry and conservation and plant science.

Chanyeol would graduate at the end of the semester with a major in music and a minor in economics. It sounded slightly less impressive than Kyungsoo’s degree. Had far fewer attainable career aspirations, but Chanyeol was convinced he could make something of himself. Kyungsoo was convinced as well, and that was all of the support Chanyeol needed.

“It was a beautiful ceremony, wasn’t it?” Kyungsoo asked, head cocked to the side and smile on his face as he gestured for Chanyeol to stand as the two grooms descended the aisle to the hall while people applauded and cheered.

“I just can’t believe they actually got married.” Chanyeol admitted a little hesitantly. He didn't know how to put any confidence into his words. “They’re both so young. I didn’t think they’d actually go through with it… It just feels so rushed? People seem like they’re in such a hurry to get married these days. They don’t actually think about what a commitment it is.”

Kyungsoo shrugged, a small frown tugging on his face, but he clapped alongside the other guests nonetheless “You sound like you don’t want to get married.”

Chanyeol shuffled uncomfortably. “I don’t really know what I want.”

Kyungsoo nudged Chanyeol playfully, expression fond. “That’s okay. We’re not in a hurry.”

 

* * *

 

 

Chanyeol knows he wants to marry Kyungsoo on a cloudy evening in late June. It’s warm, a little too warm to let their dog onto the bed because that’s too many bodies and there are too many blankets, but Chanyeol can’t say no to their dog. And he can’t say no Kyungsoo- because Kyungsoo will make that face if he tried to make their dog sleep on the floor so he relents.

“My parents want us to come over for dinner for their thirtieth wedding anniversary.” Kyungsoo says, book in one hand and his phone in the other. His glasses have slipped off the bridge of his nose so that they balance on the very tip.

Chanyeol’s not really sure how Kyungsoo can even read at all judging by the way he holds his phone to his face and squints his eyes.

“That sounds nice. When is it?” Chanyeol asks. He liked Kyungsoo’s parents. He truly does. They’re good people and have always treated both him and Kyungsoo well.

“It sounds stressful” Kyungsoo sighs, burrowing himself a little deeper under the covers. “You know how my mom gets. She’s going to want everything to be perfect. And then she’s going to ask why you don’t have a ‘real’ job yet and-”

Chanyeol smiles and rubs lazy circles into his boyfriend’s shoulders. “It won’t be that bad. I love your mom and she loves me.”

“You’re going to have to buy another shirt. My mom has started to notice that you only own one nice shirt.” Kyungsoo says but it’s more akin to an order or a demand than anything else. “And pants. You really need to own more than just sweatpants and jeans.”

“Ugh. You’re such an adult.” Chanyeol groans, leaning back limp into the pillows. “Why are you like that?”

Kyungsoo cracks a smile. “If you were raised by my mother you’d be like this too.”

“Your mom does like me, right?” Chanyeol asks as he pets their dog, because it matters. Because Chanyeol wants to spend a thousand more evenings like this: sprawled out in bed, each doing their own little thing. Sometimes they’ll talk but more often than not they’ll sit silently and then go to sleep. And then they’ll wake up and drink coffee together in the morning and have breakfast. They’ll play footsie under the table like children and take the dog for a walk. Come home from work and gossip about their coworkers and mutual friends.

And it’s so fucking domestic and everything that Chanyeol wants to hate. Because after a shitty childhood of verbal abuse and divorced parents he never wanted to believe in any of this. He didn’t believe that people could have quiet mornings and blissful evenings. That the couples walking their dog in the park could actually be as happy as they seemed.

But there he was.

And he would hate all of it if it weren’t for Kyungsoo. Because these were the moments they could share together in their hectic lives. These are the moments that Chanyeol lived for.

“She likes you enough.” Kyungsoo says in a way that suggests his own affection for Chanyeol exceeds whatever his mother could think of the matter.

Chanyeol curls up to Kyungsoo’s shoulder and rests his head. “What if we went away? Like a vacation after dinner with your family. We can get a dog sitter and you can work from home and I’ll take a week off. We can just go somewhere. The two of us.”

“You really want to?” He asks in that sad sort of way he does when he doesn’t really want to be honest.

But Chanyeol knows what he’s going to say: Work is hectic. They can’t afford it. It’s too spontaneous.

But instead he says. “Where do you want to go?”

And he smiles at Chanyeol with that dopey little smile of his, half smug and Chanyeol knows. He knows he’s going to marry that cute little nerd from the front of the lecture hall.  
He’s going to marry that smug little bastard who helped him study for his econ test. He’s going to marry that goofy little shit who stayed with Chanyeol in the hospita. Chanyeol is going to marry that hopeful, optimistic and far-too kind and patient young man who sat beside him at the wedding of his best friend.  
He’s going to marry Kyungsoo despite all the ups and downs and stupid little fights. For all the lazy morning sex and spontaneous dinner plans. For Kyungsoo’s failed recipes and experiments in the kitchen. He’s going to marry all of Kyungsoo’s fears and insecurities.

He’s going to marry Kyungsoo so they can spend a million more evenings together in the blue light of a rising moon once the city has fallen asleep and the world has grown quiet and it’s just the two of them. The pair of them against every little bump in the night and fork in the road.  
A million more mornings wrapped in the golden glow of a rising sun when everything feels new. Mornings when the sun doesn’t seem to rise and the clouds are too heavy in the sky and the world rests to heavily on their chests and they can’t seem to get out of bed despite it all. When words aren’t enough and they seem to drown in pain neither of them can really explain- because sometimes life was just too hard and didn’t seem worth it.

Chanyeol wants to spend it all with Kyungsoo. Because he knows that Kyungsoo won’t make those moments go away. He knows that it’ll never be perfect. But with Kyungsoo he  
knows that maybe he can survive those days and they’ll be a little easier.

Because he loves Kyungsoo and he knows Kyungsoo loves him too.


End file.
